I write this for you as a reminder to forgive yourself and be honest. A lot has transpired in the past seven years from your time in community college and working in Orange County, to your service in the Marine Corps, and to now your residence at UCLA is Los Angeles. You have seen a lot; you have developed in many ways. However, you have also been backsliding, that is, been regressing. You failed to see acknowledge and accept the signs of growth, and instead returned to your vomit like a dog. You turned to your old ways in hopes of discovering new things, and unfortunately nothing was there. Sure, you did some fun and cool things, met some “interesting” people, but you have comprised so much of your personal development that you are now back in the pit, fighting for your life to get out of the mud. You have made some pretty bad choices, and sadly in the process have hurt others. This is not the end of the world, but understand that now you must accept the truth and acknowledge where you are today, Wednesday, June 28th, 2017. You’re still young, and there is certainly room for improvement, but the change starts today. With that change you have to come face-to-face with some harsh realities about yourself. You have been for a lack of a better term, an agent of Satan, and you have deluded yourself into believing otherwise. Many people around you for years have tried to intercede and inform you of your mental illness, but you ignored them and continued to Do As Thou Wilt. The result of this behavior has led to you becoming possessed. You committed to an idea, became possessed by it, and now you are wrestling within yourself the truth from the lie. Now before you start going down the spiral of guilt and shame and pity, understand that this is not entirely your fault, you are only partly responsible. For many years of your life you have been confused and abused, and when these deep foundational issues are not addressed, people who have been traumatized often react to this feelings by expressing outward behaviors that are typically socially deviant. This is Psychology 101, but in some regard it is contains some aspects of spiritual warfare. You see you have been born into a cosmic battle, a war, that is going on between Satan and his fallen Angels and God – this is the cosmic narrative. At the lower level, here on planet Earth, you have experienced what it is known as projection. Many people project unto others their feelings, beliefs, attitudes and other behaviors how they over the course of their lifetime, constructed their worldview. You see, everyone has a worldview. They view the world a type of way, and consequently they also view themselves a type of way. Some world views are based in religion, while others politics, and others material wealth, riches, fame, security, etc. The list goes on and on. The point is is that everyone has an idea about how the world should be and in essence how every individual should be as well. Now this is not entirely good or bad, or right or wrong, it is just a belief, an attitude that humans develop of the course of their life. Where the deep rooted issue in you, and in the rest of humanity is that we are all sinners. Yes, I know you’re tired of hearing that term and the concept of sin is SOOO antiquated, but it’s true, and once you understand the nature of sin and you can deeply understand how sin is transferred from one generation to the next. Okay, so here is where we start getting to the nuggets of your life….Are you ready for some wickedness?
Yea? Well good. I’m glad because now you are becoming self-aware which is another important element of your life when reading this letter. Okay, here we go!
You come from a “broken home,” this is easy to explain. Your parents, your biological parents, were not together when you were born, and although the story between them often shifts and is inconsistent, most people tend to defend the mother because it’s in their nature to – probably because we are breastfed by them. You grew up for the first part of your life with your mom and step-dad, which was well sucky, for the most part. They were poor, and often times you moved from place to place, trying to find an affordable situation to settle into. That never happened.
Okay, here’s where it gets juicy…
When you were around four or five years old, your older uncle, Michelangelo, molested you. It was in a closet and for what you remember it felt nice to be touched and acknowledged by another family member. What’s crazy is this wasn’t the only time you were touched. Your cousin Angie, she too, molested you. What’s even more crazy is that her uncle on her father’s side molested her. See what I mean when I talk about the term generational sin? The cycle continues, and what is astounding is that this is so prevalent in many families. Molestation often times is undetected and is kept secret for years once it’s discovered. For some reason families think it is best to keep things “hush, hush,” and better to “keep it in the house.”
What ensues after sexual abuse is one of three things, sexual exploration with the self, violence and aggression, and self-medication, and let me tell you you did all three! Wow! You’re a freak.
Remember, it is important throughout this entirely letter to not fall into the role of victim. There is a time and place for that, and right now your time has passed at the reading of this.
Are you starting to understand why you loved to fight in middle school and high school? It’s partly because you were reacting to what was inside of you, and it didn’t help that you weren’t receiving affection from home – this definitely didn’t help your relationships with girls, not one bit.
But remember, it’s okay. You’re alive and you’re still here.
Now if I remember correctly you’re cycle of sin kind of went like this:
- Molestation and Sexual Abuse
- Masturbation and Pornography
- Violence and Aggression
- More Masturbation and Pornography
- A loss of a faith – A broken heart
The loss of a faith was HUGE one because the person at the time you cared about was your entire reason for existence, and that my friend is wrong! You essentially treated your high school girlfriend like an idol, she drove you away from God, and left you in the hurt.
Unfortunately, your worship of women has been essentially a void that you have been trying to replace for years and because of it you have been involved in my destructive habits and relationships.
Man O man, it only gets worse, but don’t worry there’s hope at the end.
Here we are, years later, in a new town, Orange County! It’s beautiful, as you know, in Orange County. Beautiful houses, beautiful people, pretty much beautiful everything.
You’re running around, newly single, discovering yourself at community college. One day a friend from work offers you to smoke a cigarette, except it wasn’t a cigarette it was a marijuana joint! DUN DUN DUN!
Drugs, drugs, drugs!
At first you were immensely paranoid and anxious, but later you came to accept the euphoria, and from there on you become a stoner, a doper, a drug addict.
Oh yes, marijuana is addicting! Don’t believe that media new hype.
It’s all a lie! Just another way to stupefy the nation and the future generations of our youth, get them high!
Days and months went by as you experimented with your drug use. What was so pathetic is that you were literally a junkie. You could not go anywhere without being high. Church, school, work, the grocery store, everywhere you went, you were high.
What you have to understand is that you were not only getting high, but you were opening a channel, allowing your spirit to be open to other entities and mediums.
That’s right, we’re getting spiritual.
You allowed yourself to be opened up to Satan and his demons.
Not only did you become increasingly compulsive in your smoking and drinking, but you also became addicted to pornography, another channel to your mind.
In secret you unknowingly started practicing chanting, without knowing what chanting really was, and later you began to start interpreting your dreams, and started to receive messages from spirits. This was not God, or Christ, nor Angels, this was the Devil. You were being funneled with the Devil and his minions.
You got involved with a family that was secretly also involved with the Devil, but little did you know.
You were a babe, ignorant, and for the most part impressionable. Once again you were sucked in by Satan and His Demons.
What’s interesting is that you were guilted into thinking you had some fault in all of it? So again, being fueled by Satan, you feel need to confess your sins, and play the hero.
You become a poet, a writer, and by expelling all your guilt and shame you made yourself vulnerable to them. You became entrapped by some virtue of “Catholic guilt.”
Where things become more interesting is you enter into the military, which if you didn’t know now, actually involves aspects of Satanic Ritual Abuse in their training. They broke you down, humiliated you, abused you, to then turn you into something else, a potential killer.
That’s not who you are Michael!
You’re not a killer, and although sometimes I know what you think about doing to yourself or others you are bitter against, that is not who you are. You are a genuine nice guy, a lover, a scholar, a poet, a writer, a patron of the arts, a family man, you’re not some blood-thirsty war monger.
That’s who they wanted you to be. That’s what Satan wanted for you.
You go overseas, and what happens is the demons inside of you go dormat, they stayed quiet and watch you as you put on a display of character.
The problem with all of this is that you never really escaped the trap, you only dug yourself more into it. You deluded yourself more and more and more. When others tried to help you you ignored them. You thought God was using you for His plan to become something that you were never meant to be. That’s the reality of it all.
Now let’s talk about something that for so long has guided your life, the D word.
That’s right, Dreams.
In some regard the Bible does have precise evidence that prophets and the elect were given visions and dreams by God and his Angels, but it is also clear that dreams can be given by false spirits. Don’t forget that the Angel Gabriel allegedly spoke to the prophet Mohammad and look now what has been made of the Islam religion. That’s besides the point, but what I am trying to articulate here is that Satan and his demons are actually very powerful and they should not be underestimated. Here’s a fancy quote from Martin Luther that I found might help you in your spiritual journey:
“We believed, during the reign of the pope, that the spirits which make a noise and disturbance in the night, were those of the souls of men, who after death, return and wander about in expiation of their sins. This error, thank God, has been discovered by the Gospel, and it is known at present, that they are not the souls of men, but nothing else than those malicious devils who used to deceive men by false answers. It is they that have brought so much idolatry into the world.”
Martin Luther, God bless him, has liberated thousands if not millions of people from the Roman Catholic church. Now, one quick note about Catholics: There not all whores, they are not all devils, and they are certainly not all pedophiles. Like many religions and systems of beliefs or political groups, there are bad representatives in them. It’s like saying black people are bad because you had one bad experience with a black individual, the logic behind that doesn’t make any sense. What I will tell you though is there is a lot in the Roman Catholic church that is EXTRA.
I use the word extra because nowadays that word is used to describe someone or something that is “too much” or “unnecessary.” That is exactly my point there is a lot of stuff in the Roman Catholic church that is not good, and that is not aligned with the Gospel and the Bible. There’s a lot of paganism in there, new-age philosophy, and so-on and so forth.
Again, not all Roman Catholics are going to hell, but I believe now that a lot of them are misled by the EXTRA that is being propagated in their systems of order and mission.
Phew! We have gone over a lot haven’t we?
Sexual Abuse, Drugs, violence, dysfunction, military, Martin Luther, what’s next?
This is the last part, which is going to be the hardest.
The truth is the Gospel of Jesus Christ, period! It’s real. It happened and it’s going to happen. There is no gray area, there is no middle ground. It’s the World, or it’s the God the Father, the Son Jesus Christ, and the Holy Ghost.
Read the Bible, it’s there, it’s all there.
You have to believe with all your heart, mind and soul. There is nothing else. There is judgement, redemption and then salvation. For everyone else there is Hell.
The evidence is in the Bible and there is certainly evidence outside of it.
You have to forgive yourself MICHAEL. You have to let go of the past. The past is the DEVIL, it’s Satan trying to control you.
The Devil wants you to stay in the past, he wants you to feel guilty all the time and moral responsible. It’s not your fault. You did not know. It wasn’t for you to understand, and it’s certainly not your responsibility to save anyone from their unfortunate predicament. It’s hard, I know, you want to do something, but you can’t. You have to accept the fact that this is out of your control. YOU CANNOT SAVE HER! SHE DOESN’T WANT TO BE SAVED!
More on with your life, and dedicate your life to preaching the Gospel. It’s life or death. What do you want a life that is fake? Or a life that is genuine?
People need to hear the Gospel of Jesus Christ. We are, they are, running out of time.
The world is running out of time.
Stop trying to be cool, or fit-in, or be safe and secure. Dedicate your life to Christ, that’s all that matters!
I know this is going to sound weak and probably pathetic, but you most pray. You must humble yourself and pray. God allowed you to come to Los Angeles and pursue your narcissistic dreams so that you could be humbled. You were the Prodigal son dude! Like literally, you were the Prodigal son!
It’s time to live a life of complete honesty and truth!
Life isn’t about your material wealth, your riches, your marriage and happy wife, and a two-car garage. It’s about Jesus Christ!
Dude, life sucks, we already know that. You’re not going to get the so-called “Girl of Your Dreams,” that’s a lie. There’s no such thing man! How many divorces and remarriages are there? How many times do people jump from relationship to relationship? All the time! That romance and life of Bliss has been propagated by the Bourgeoisie, the European elites, and the Royal class. Sacrifice your life to Jesus Christ and there will be an even greater reward in Heaven. In heaven there will be no suffering, no more rape, no more abuse, no more war, no more divorce, no more incest, no more inequality, no more death!
Your whole life you have been looking for something to fight for!
Fight for Jesus!