Failure at Ease

Today I took my first test. I failed. I failed miserably. I forgot that the exam was today, and so when I received it in class, I completely and utterly gave up. I filled out many 25% of the exam while the rest while the rest was left blank. I frankly just didn’t know the answers. I couldn’t even guess, it would have been pointless. I feel tired, and I hate when I am tired especially when I know I have gotten adequate rest the day before. I feel like I am being watched, and not only that teased. I can feel my skin tingling as I walk around campus. More like getting poked. Whatever it is, it won’t leave me alone. I miss when I was living my life without sadness, depression and suicide thinking. Everyday is a challenge to live and I hate that I can’t just do what I want without feeling some kind of entity over my shoulder. It bothers me, and because it continues to pester at my skin and in my ears, I feel the only way to be relieved of this continuous trauma is to kill myself. That is the only way. I can’t think of another way to escape this nightmare. I used to be happy all the time. That’s how people knew actually. The happy go-lucky guy. Now the demons go stronger, and like an evil spirit it continues to feed on my spirit, it continues to live off the energy of my soul. Please! Leave me alone! I want nothing to do with you. Please go away!


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