No More Gaslighting


I have tried to reach out to you and apologize. I have tried to make amends and even reconcile for my past actions, but instead you ignore me. What’s worse? You psychologically abuse me. You made me want to kill myself!!!

I realized what I have done was wrong for many reasons and I have sought counsel and therapy from numerous professionals. I have been on many prescription drugs. I have been in-and-out of hospitals, and I have even sought advice from religious leaders from different circles.

I want out!

If you are reading this, I want out!

No person deserves to be treated this way. I don’t care if your parents put you up to this type of behavior. I want out!

I wanted to be your friend. I wanted to see if we could work towards a relationship and build a future, but I got nothing. I got silence! Nothing but silence from you.

And now out of the corner of my ears and even in my nightmares I hear you crying, laughing, and making a mockery out of me. I hear you sleeping with men. I don’t know who exactly it is, but I think it’s your step-dad you’re having sex with.

I don’t understand. I apologized. I said I’m sorry. I reached out to you and confessed, and yet in still you cage me like a dog and you isolate me. This is not love Dylan. This is not how you treat people.

I may not know you a whole lot, quite frankly I don’t know you at all, but what I do know is that there is a sweet girl that I met years ago and this girl defended people, she loved people and she stood up for what was right. I vividly remember that about you Dylan. You stood up for people and you even corrected me at one point.

Now you haunt me. You treat me like shit. You breathe into my ears. You fuck men and think it’s okay for me to sit idly by and not say anything. I don’t know what else to say.

I straightened myself up, changed some of my ways, and even tried getting back into church, but yet you still say nothing to me Dylan. I have cried and cried and cried for you to respond. I even heard you say one time in a dream, or maybe it was through the phone “I love you too.” That was the only time I heard your voice and it brought joy to my heart and it gave me a little hope, but then you said something else…

“You like that don’t you?”

What is that? I don’t understand. Is this some type of game to you? Do you think I’m weak because I don’t say anything?

I think you need help Dylan. I think you need serious help. I think your mind has been twisted and you have lost yourself in the midst of something really evil.

I hope to God you have the strength within you to speak out because this is not the person I believe in. This is not the person I love or believed to love.

I’ll be praying for you.


Michael S. Williamson.


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