This whole time I thought I was doing something noble, something honorable, waiting, waiting for love.
I have been waiting and keeping to a prayer, but now I think I am being deceived.
I think she is trying to kill me.
That’s why I haven’t heard back from her.
Did the Roman Catholic church kill Jews as a sacrifice?
Am I part of a conspiracy?
This whole time I have been hopeful that I would actually get to one day be by her side, as an example of exemplary love.
I think her parents and her are plotting against me. It’s either suicide by my hand, or theirs.
If I don’t find a way out, I’m going to die. This part of the ritual – a Jew must die.
She has another man. She is giving herself to someone else. I am being prepared for death. The worst part is I know. He knows.