This whole time I thought I was doing something noble, something honorable, waiting, waiting for love.

I have been waiting and keeping to a prayer, but now I think I am being deceived.

I think she is trying to kill me.

That’s why I haven’t heard back from her.

Did the Roman Catholic church kill Jews as a sacrifice?

Am I part of a conspiracy?

This whole time I have been hopeful that I would actually get to one day be by her side, as an example of exemplary love.

I think her parents and her are plotting against me. It’s either suicide by my hand, or theirs.

If I don’t find a way out, I’m going to die. This part of the ritual – a Jew must die.

She has another man. She is giving herself to someone else. I am being prepared for death.  The worst part is I know. He knows.



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