Uncategorized

Desperation, Self-Hate, and Hopelessness

Was that what the letter emoted? Was that what the letter evoked?

I wrote it then. I read it now.

I do not regret it.

But did I clearly communicate my message. Did I accurately portray my feelings in prose?

Was it sentimental? Was it forceful? Was it desperate?

Or…

Was it convicting? Was it compelling?

Will I, will she, forgive me?

What does it matter?

The air I breathe is just another day closer to my demise.

Death.

I want it so bad!

I am ready to die.

Today!

God! I see this people who do not honor their lives. I see these people who jump around from job to job, wasting their times with pity things and trivial talk.

Where are the real ones? Where are the ones who are willing to sacrifice everything for the betterment of mankind? Where are the lovers? Where are the fighters?

Will I go to the depths to be resurrected? Will I go to the core to find metamorphosis?

What is it that I am looking for?

Where does this anger come from? Where does this energy become manifested?

Can I not love the one I choose?

Can I not die the way I desire?

What is the point of education?

Is it to become enlightened? Or is it to become controlled?

Is Love the way of the fool?

Or is Love the way of the prince? Perhaps, becoming of a King.

It is not possible for a Prince to become King without a woman to become his right hand, she must assume her position as Queen; But is this way of thinking futile? Am I living in a past time.

The way of the fool…Ah, yes! That sounds fun.

The way of the wise…Hmmm…That sounds safe, secure, and honorable…

But is it what I want?

Everybody wants something…EVERYBODY.

What is it that you seek?

Are you looking for someone to love you?

Are you looking for someone to please you?

Are you looking for someone to entertain you?

What is it that you are looking for?

 

Standard

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s